Sociopathic Behavior

It was a late Autumn party in the middle of a Corn field. It was drinking beer for 4 hours near a bonfire and trying to fuck with everyone around. It was a glorious night, indeed.

It wasn't until around 11pm that I would see the fate of this night.

I walked toward the truck I had driven into the corn field that night, I had to leave feverishly. There was a rumbling in my stomach that had come on like the Blitzkrieg during the Luftwaffe bombings, it became apparent that if I didn't shit here and now I would have it running ever so quickly down my leg.

I looked left, I looked right and all I could see is the light from the bonfire still on me. I had to get out of this light, for the life of me I could see no cover. I ran about 100 feet down the path and came across the most glorious site man had ever bestowed.

I hurried over to the half-truck, half-car, all amazing feat of white trashery. Dropped my pants off my body completely and jumped onto the tailgate. Spreading my ass cheeks so that it wouldn't be a messy one, I dropped a deuce that would rival small pets in size. I took off my shoes so that my socks could be used as improvised toilet paper and dropped the socks onto the pile. Putting my shoes and pants back on I wondered what the owner of this car would think when he looked into the bed trying to find whatever he put there on occassion.

I want to take this time to apologize to that person. I do apologize Chad Snyder. I shouldn't have taken a shit in your half-truck bed. Surely you can understand my plight.