Sociopathic Behavior

I wake up to the screeching sound of my alarm clock, it's 7am and I'm late.

The drive to work was frantic as I convince myself that today will be a great day.

Every day is a great day.

I've made it my duty to tell my coworkers this exact phrase whenever I hear them complaining about their sub par lives, with their sub par children in their sub par home. I've made it my duty in part because I'm ostentatious. This realization is months away though, I can not dream of the day when my world collapses and I decide to walk away from everything.

I walk across the office floor my coat in hand, my eyes glancing from one end to the next attempting to avoid eye contact so I may avoid awkward conversation with someone that I despise. Too late.

A 19 minute conversation that equated to something of this nature.

Coworker John: 16 minutes of blah blah blah trying to start some kind of strike at work.
Me: Ya, ummm...I better get to my desk I've got a couple deadlines.
Coworker John: Ya man, that's what I was saying. They never let us have enough time and give us these bullshit deadlines.
Me: Hmmm, ya.
Coworker John: So are you with me?
Me: Uhhhh, send me an email.

I hurry away hoping John is stabbed in the heart by a dagger at lunch. I know it's not likely but I am hoping that someone from the original Buffy: Movie will bust through the door and scream LIFELESS SCUM! and take his ass out.

I finally get to my desk, 35 minutes have passed being on the clock and I can't walk 200 feet in this amount of time without 2 of my bosses and 3 coworkers stopping me to ask a question about accounts I'm dealing with.


To be continued...